Here it is

Okay, here goes. So Kami had a stressful weekend, preparing and delivering two wedding cakes and photographing one of the weddings as well. So she was stressed out. Which means I was stressed out.

Anyhow, Sunday afternoon finally comes and she's done with all of her stuff for the weekend, so we sit down to watch a movie (Capote - based on my favorite book of all time: In Cold Blood). After the movie is over we decide to take the dogs out and go to bed early.

I'm lagging behind a little bit, and so I hear Kami absolutely freaking out. I run to catch up - and then I smell it: a skunk drilled Angus with his scent. And that's some powerful stuff. It's one thing to drive through where a skunk has sprayed, but it's another to have the epicenter right at the end of your leash. So Kami's eyes are watering and Angus is rolling around on the ground like he's been shot and is doing la Danse Macabre. Gunther can't figure out what's going on, so he's just scratching behind his ear.

I bend down to sniff and see where it got Angus, and it's right on the end of his nose - drilled him right in the coconut. The skunk was in a bush, and Angus heard him rustling around and apparently wanted to play. Well, the skunk must have been going to the bathroom, because he wasn't happy and sprayed. Kami was worried the skunk bit Angus - but I've seen enough cartoons to know the spray comes out the caboose, so I dismissed that and turned my attention to: How the heck do we get this smell off of Angus? Because I'm not having him rolling around inside all skunked out.

I remember an episode of Jackass where Johnny Knoxville got sprayed and had to pour tomato juice all over himself. (Now that I don't watch tv, how am I going to learn life lessons? Trial and error?) Keep in mind we live in a small town in upstate New York, so ain't nothin' open at 11pm on a Sunday. Except the gas station, and I don't know when they close, so I jump in the car while Kami is on the street with the dogs at the ends of their allotted rope.

I go to the gas station and buy a gallon of tomato juice (yep, you can buy a gallon of tomato juice - the most funkdafied of all the juices). I get home and get a towel - later thrown away - and wrap Angus in it and carry him upstairs and set him in the bathtub. Gunther dutifully follows. So it's Gunther, Angus and myself all trapped in the bathroom staring at each other as if to say: "How are we going to deal with this? Because none of us are leaving until all of us don't smell like Highway 36."

I pour a half gallon of tomato juice on Angus and let it sit. Gunther thinks this is hilarious - I swear I can hear him laughing like Muttley - so I pick him up and put him in the bathtub and pour a half gallon of tomato juice on him, too. He stops laughing. Meanwhile Kami is Googling "skunk off dog" and finds a recipe for getting skunk smell off of dogs. Apparently it worked for Johnny Knoxville, because he isn't covered with fur.

Thank God for Al Gore inventing the internet, because it was her turn to go to the gas station and get Dawn dish washing soap, hydrogen peroxide and baking soda. A mixture of that poured on the pups and that's supposed to take the smell off. In the meantime, Gunther and Angus turn their attention to how yummy the other one smells and they start licking the tomato juice off of each other.

So Kami comes up with the mixture and we rinse the pasta sauce off and pour the salve on our dogs. Three baths later, there's no smell of skunk. Except on Angus' nose a little bit. That's a lesson for him to never get curious about what's in the bushes.